Thursday, April 30, 2009

Our body is a living temple - Time for RESTORATION

A couple of years ago, I literally broke down and had a nervous breakdown from overwork, stress, loss and family tragedies which lead to depression. I am a pretty energetic and happy person, so to see myself hit rock bottom like that to a place of darkness and wanting to die, it scared my family & friends, including myself.
I am in my mid thirties and really have learned and desire to take care of myself physically, mentally and most importantly emotionally. I am still growing and cutting things out that aren't good for me. Drama, stress, bad eating habits (yikes), drinking (yikes) I like me a drank time to time:0), unhealthy relationships and so on. I ultimately want to feel good and be healthy and to be full of energy so I can continue to fulfill my dreams. I am just getting started at 34 young.
I'm not a religious person but a very spiritual person I guess I can say. I was raised as an unpracticing Catholic but in my twenties when my Father passed away I hit another dark time. I was invited to church one Sunday and accepted Christ, filled with the Holy Spirit and for the first time in my life I felt PEACE. I have NEVER felt this feeling before. In fact, most of my whole childhood I can always remember a feeling of fear and violence always surrounding me. My moms boyfriend was an abusive alcoholic to her and to me. The only fun and safe times would be when I got dropped off at my Grandma and Grandpas and would hang with my uncles and aunties. So growing up dealing with a lot of abandonment and fears followed me as an adult. Having a real relationship with God has helped me grow out of my insecurities into wholeness. I'm not perfect and never will be but I definitely strive to live a joyful life that God wants me to enjoy here on earth.
I don't go to church anymore. Christian folks not going to like that but o'well. This is where I am at and the most fulfilled. I realize I am the church. Everywhere I go I am having church. God is LOVE. It's amazing to me how many hundreds of people go to church and show no LOVE,except Judgement and jealousy. They talk alot but their actions don't follow. LOVE is an action verb. And, I'm not saying all. There are some great friends of mine who are amazing and we all are on this journey together.
Prayer is a HUGE part of my life, daily. I love to sit in a quiet place, especially this Temple in the Hollywood Hills and just sit in solitude. If I don't my spirit gets so weak I can feel it. The world is already such a noisy place. It's crazy to me how sitting in a place of silence we can be restored and built up and feel more clear.
But anyways, I don't want to keep ramblin on & I don't want to come off preachy, thats not my hearts intent. I just wanted to share with you some thoughts and helpful tips because it helps me daily. This is a woman who has helped me for over 15years listening to her messages. Her name is Joyce Meyers. It may not be for some but if there is anybody that listens to her and gets something from her messages, then wonderful:)Sress is a killer. Take time out for you. LOVE YOU!!


I love finding peace listening to music like this or being in environments like this. There is nothing more beautiful than enjoying God's creations. LOVE
We ALL need this, I don't care if you Suge Knight.

I took these pics at one of my favorite temples in Malibu off the PCH. The Self Realization temple. A place to pray and find rest. Breathtaking. You should go sometime:)

Days of PBS

The 80's were definitely the best times for television, especially as a kid. I remember spending Summer Vacations at my Grandma and Grandpas house with me and cousin Trav while our moms would be working. Us kids would be in the house watching PBS shows all morning long while eating bowls of Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries sitting on the carpet indian style one foot away from the television. Still wearing our pajamas which was one of our Uncles Tshirts that came down to our feet like dresses. This was also around the same time when Purple Rain and Trading Places came out. To this day we still recite word for word these movies and TV shows. These bring back such great memories.
...Educational Shows were the best. I would love someday to help create an educational show like these for the children of today that helps makes learning fun. Mhhm dreams are coming true why not:)Anything is possible.
Bay Area...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Lip Gloss

There is nothing more fresh than to have a love that is also your best friend. It's never instant for me. There are so many elements to a guy that I find myself attracted to but here are just a few things that seem to always get me crushin. His spirit. I love a guy who can dress. His fits and kicks have to be dope, smell good (Dolce and Gabana yum:) and most importantly, I LOVE a guy who can dance. If you ever come to my families house on a holiday or even a birthday, expect to be pulled up by my aunties to dance. I LOVE B Boys but I also love a guy who isn't too shy to get up and dance and have fun. Producers and musicians, can you please make some music that can make the ladies move, have fun & feel sexy? Can we take it back to the days of Marvin Gaye and Michael Jackson when it was cool to dance and when men weren't afraid to share their true feelings? Thugs posted up against the wall is boring. Thank you, the management.


I heard you're going to be at the party tonight
I wanted to look just right
So I bought a pretty black dress just for you
I hope you like
I like the way you dress too
Your so cool
You keep up with the latest
But seem to keep it old school
So fresh and brand new
You always know what to do
You know how to mix the vintage with the fly
I like the way you comb your hair
Kinda cute to me how you part it to the side:)
Turns me on how you can make the crowd go wild
I haven't felt this funny feeling in such a long while
When I look at your picture you bring out a smile
You make this fly girl turn into a shy girl
But right now I want to move
So if you feel like I do
Then tonight let's groove
On the dance floor just me and you
So just take a chance
Don't be shy boy
Please come up to me
and ask me to dance
It will be fun
Your the only one
Your the reason why
I put my lip gloss on

Let's go:)

Monday, April 27, 2009

Wayans Bros.

I just wanted to take the time to give special thanks to one of my favorite families besides mine and that is to the Wayans Bros. This family is truly funny and talented down to Mrs. Wayans, she is one of my heroes. They even showed me love and encouraged me when I was going through my divorce & when I lost two family members while being an employee there. So, I just wanted to give and show love back to a family that gave me my first opportunity working in the entertainment industry and literally taught me how to beast and become a working professional. Three years working for the family was hard, stressful, crazy fun and never a dull moment. I laughed every day but then also cried, lol. I grew my grey hairs here. I even grew a grey hair out of my forehead, that's how grueling it got sometimes but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. I got my first break in this biz working as a personal assistant to Marlon Wayans. He is still a dear friend to me/brother/mentor. So Marlon, I just wanted to shout you out and let the world know how much you have influenced my life and literally taught me how to beast. This fool right here is a machine. He always had fun but would stay focused and tried to be that example to all. Always telling me my name is on everything I put out there, so be excellent at everything I put out. If you guys only knew how many times I heard the Shoe Store story, I think like 647 times. I think it was Foot Locker but he would spend hours stocking shoes and did the work that nobody wanted to do. He pulled some Mr. Myagee ish and it actually worked. Even though he continues to elevate in this business he still remains humble, generous and shows sincerity when connecting with people. This is what I admire most about Marlon. So Marlon, I hope I make you proud. I'm slowly stepping away from being an assistant & putting my energy directing and developing the artist that I am. I am grateful to have worked with one of the most influential families ever. LOVE YOU! BTW, Dance Flick drops May 22. Keep supporting classic Wayans Flicks, don't forget to smoke before you go and also GI JOE coming this summer in August. This is big time right here.
Copy Paste: Embed Disabled: Go JOE!
Rip Cord - G.I. JOE - August 2009
Chillin with my Marlon and O @ Jackie Robinsons Tribute @ Dodger Stadium
Shouts to Keenen. Thank you for letting me hang with you while you directed Little Man and BTW sorry I burnt your food a couple times:) LOVE YOU KEENEN! LOL!

My other family
Dance Flick: Congrats to Damien Wayans making this your directorial debut. Shouts to 2cnd generation. They are doing big things stay tuned.

Wayans Bros Felony crew...Friday Director Marcus RaBOYYYYY!


Not sure if people know this but I was an Evangelism major. I was never raised in the church but at 20 I got real spiritual or religious I might say and went to Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, OK. I soon dropped out in my second year because of cornbots like this. This is something I watch every morning before I get out of bed so I can start my day with a good laugh. This may help people going through depression, really.
Wait till 1:09, this is demonic. Somebody needs to rebuke him.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Friday Saturday LOVE

Just Got Paid Friday Night
My best friends want to head to Nightlife
But they can go head without me
Cause right now I'm feeling like
I want to hang with you tonight
So call me after you get out the studio
I'll call Roscoes & order Chicken n Waffles to go
So we can come back home
Roll one and be rollin n watch the Chappelle Show
Or we can sip some wine & recite every line
Watch Trading Places for the 99th time
Last but not least we can pop in Purple Rain
But we both know what comes next after the Basement Scene
You start thinking you Prince and I'm Apollonia
Convincing me I need to put this apple on ya
Got me stripping down like I'm passing initiation at Lake Minnetonka
Let's purify ourselves and head to the shower
Let's give head for hours and then take it back to the bed
Only 2 am and you getting breakfast in bed
Let's light some candles 'Do me baby's' on repeat
I know your beat making beats
Putting in 80 hour weeks just so we can eat
So lay your head on my pillow and relax
Let me massage your back & let me spoil you
Sitting on you while I'm rubbing oil into you
I'm so into you, you deserve it
And it's my pleasure to serve you too
Let's fall asleep and then wake up at noon
But before we get dressed let's go for round 22
Now we grooving in the car to Earth Wind and Fire tunes
Headed to the mall so we can shop for your photo shoot
You know I'm stylish
I'm your personal stylists
Dress you in fly fits that get the ladies posting up photo comments
They can comment how sexy you be
But I know I'll always be the lady you want to see
I believe in you and you believe in me
We will always be
Best friends
Your so special to me

80's LOVE
Prince and Apollonia

Monday, April 20, 2009

Year of The Under Dog

We ALL love the Under Dog. There's something about witnessing that come back moment when we see people rise up and shine in their gift in the midst of adversity, haters, physical handicaps, lifes trials and tribulations that would make any human being want to give up. Once again, the Under Dog reminds me that our dreams are not for ourselves. We can't give up because there is somebody else waiting on the other side of our dream. Be a dreamer and a doer. Every step we take towards making our dreams come true, hope and inspiration follows. I think we instantly find favor, happiness and respect in the underdog when we see that human spirit kick in and keep persevering when it seems like the world is against them. I think because it encourages the underdog that lies within us all. I personally have been through much and experienced much loss but I refuse to give up on my deams. Through the loss and pain of life's unescapeable trials which are promised to us all, I still try and find the humor, beauty and wisdom from each experience. Prayer, support from my real friends and fam, belief in myself and most importantly my relationship with God helps me through. He continuously gives me strength and courage to keep going. I am excited to see this new wave of emcees, artists, comedians, photographers, film makers, musicians, producers, poets, actors and writers starting to bust out in this industry right now. It's time for the newness and for the world to be renewed and inspired again with fresh new talent. Just want to send some encouragement to all thats still going after it even if its been 10 years +. Don't give up. Keep at it. It's a new time and we all have been waiting for such a time as this. Let's make history to better our world and mankind. BTW - just wanted to share a few of my fav come back moments. One of my absolute favs is not on YouTube. You know how Prince is with his stuff. But if you are a Prince Fan, you know the scene in Purple Rain when he just sang Purple Rain and he storms off stage to go back to his dressing room? He then hears the crowd going wild in response to his heartfelt performance. Grabbed his Tamborines and headed back to the stage to give the performance of his lifetime. I would Die 4 U and Baby I'm a Star. The best ever. Alright peace out yall. LOVE Tiana

The Antwone Fisher story is the movie that inspired me to continue believing I can share my story through film. Very similiar. I will admit, I definitely shed some snot on this flick. I was crying like someone's baby died. I swear the whole theater was crying. Even grown men were sitting at the edge of their seat all emotional. This is one of my favorite movies ever. To me this is an example of courage and going back to face your demons that once kept you in fear and tried to destroy your spirit. Derek Luke definitely gave an amazing performance.

I love this clip from Britains Got Talent. The embed is disabled so copy/paste. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2vlXy74lsQ

U know I had to end this with a poem:)
This poem is dedicated to all the struggling artists. Keep believing in your dreams even when nobody else does. The ones who ever felt like Noah when he was trying to build the ark. The dream stealers didn't believe him, thought he was crazy and stupid. But guess what happened to the haters when the storm hit? Exactly...To all the dreamers this ones for you.

Growing up, it was just me & cousin Trav
We never had a dad to tell us, 'Yes we can'
or that 'We can be anything we want to be'
Just two latch key kids that lacked self esteem
Couldn't rely on he, so I had to rely on I
So don't think I'm crazy when I talk to the sky
My whole life I had to fight
Trying to turn my dark past into a future that is bright
& just like you I want to do what's right
But anytime you want to better your life you get resistance
For instance, not very long ago I had to pray myself back into existence
Broke down from all the stress and tension
In 07, I hit a great depression but in this time my soul learned the greatest lessons
Never took the time to grieve over things that were stole
So in a sense I became a modern day Job
Lost my job, lost my home, lost my car, lost my hope
But when Uncle Bob passed that's when I couldn't cope
But no matter how hard I tried to hide & end things
God's love would always come and find me
Sent me human angels to keep me smiling
So to all the people who have a problem with me rising
You haters can take it up with my Creator
Because I was created for greatness
So this next message goes out to the all the dream stealers
Let me get my hit list time to check off all the hatin b******
That smiled to my face, hugged my neck, but when I walked away they'd talk their sh**
Warning other people to be careful, to watch out & look out for me
But if you took the time to get to know me
See what I'm about & read my poetry
You would clearly see that my message is about spreading the love
& encouraging others that they can make their dreams come true
So when you spoke against me you really were speaking against you
Really, we should be on the look out for you
But enough about you
Going on to number 2
Never thought you could be home alone
and run up a thousand dollar phone bill and never pick up the phone
Who were you calling? Cause it sure wasn't me
Imagine the agony to not hear from you husband & it's going on month 3
Yeah nobody's perfect, I was still working on me
Acted real immature said things I didn't mean
But one things for sure, I loved you
And all those things were no reason to leave your Queen
Who needed enduring love & consistency from her King
While I put mine aside I supported your dreams
But you forgot that we were on the same team
Love never has to compete it completes
I was down for you & yours
Sold the Symphony merch when you went on tour
& yes it wasn't right to call your sister Jenny a b****
Which she made my hit list 3
But what do expect?
How would you feel if you shared your heart & they turned right back around
to kill your dream? Told me to be more realistic
Said I was good with my hands
Massage therapists are high in demand
Well she did speak some head knowledge
Let me share with you what I learned in hand college
If you take the middle finger with the palms facing up
It means Ya Basta! Spanish for Enough is Enough
But then if you flip your hand over you get a whole new meaning
So to all the artists who work the hardest keep on dreaming
Turn up the middle finger to all the dream stealers
Don't Stop, stay strong and keep believing!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Importance of a man - The Importance of a Father

I just turned 34 a couple months ago. As a grown woman, I still desire the love, protection and guidance of a fatherly or even a healthy male figure. I can truly say that men are so vital to our existence and our esteem. I didn't know my father but I do know he did the best he could. Unfortunately, my mom and dad split when I was just a baby. I was 20 when he passed. After the funeral his wife handed over to me Christmas & birthday cards and his poetry that he wrote just for me. A feeling of joy came over me when I read his letters that I never received because I knew that after all that time we were apart, he did think of me. It was also the first time I found out that he was a writer and a poet. I realized the gift to express through word came from him. For years I struggled with my identity and self esteem because I never really knew who I was. I didn't have a father speaking life to me, letting me know I was a princess or encouraging me to follow my dreams. Thats why it was always hard for me to ever receive compliments because I thought people were lying or there was a catch. Over the years I have grown to receive and just simply say, "Thank you". It saddens me when I see others go through the same thing because they never had their fathers words to lift them up. My passion in life is to remind others to love and to remind men how much we need them. I know I will never get to experience my fathers love here on earth so my desire is to atleast remind men in the little way I can, to love their sons and daughters and be in their lives. You hold the key to helping them reach their destiny. I am so grateful to have found out after his passing that he did think of me and loved me so much through his poetry. So, in gratitude, I am today who my father was, and he was a writer and poet. We are an extension of our father whether we knew him or not. I thank him for passing on this gift to me. So to all the guys who read this, my brothers. You are so important and so vital to our existense. Peace LOVE Tiana

Little Girl

She was brought into this world as a result of sin
But there's no question
She was predestined
A blessing in disguise
It's true that God can use the foolish things to confound the wise
She came as a surprise but not in God's time
Her purpose was to shine and bring light to her father's eyes
A young boy who didn't understand what it meant to be a man
or a dad to say the least
Seventeen with no dreams
But she showed him the true meaning of life
He was happy but overwhelmed
He couldn't handle the responsibility
So mommy used baby as a threat till he would get it right
But that day never came
So one day mommy packed her things and drove away from her pain
While baby played in the backseat
Unaware that it would be this day that she would leave what she would need most
Years pass and now baby's all grown up
Still a little girl but a little girl in a womanly body
Her mind doesn't match her physique
Femininity incomplete and not sure of her worth because
A healthy girl is developed by her father's words
Her confidence is built by compliments by men who see her as an object
Her whole life she has been in search for a love that will never leave
Trying to find it wrong things
Like drugs, drinking, and one night flings
But in the end she is still empty
Frustrated because she is brought back to the same feeling
Only God knows the loneliness that she feels
For years she's carried a spirit of rejection
All because of no fatherly affection
Her one true desire in life is just to feel protected by masculine arms
that will never leave
She truly believes that she's not worthy to be loved
So she developed a mentality of thinking that giving and performing is
the key to make him stay
Sacrificing her own happiness until he is satisfied
Struggling with compromise
Doing things that she knows is not right
And since all the men in her life have been unstable
She's unable to trust
So with her they give up
And yet again she's left crushed
Afraid to love or feel again
Another brick of rejection has been added to the wall that surrounds her heart
In most cases woman who end up like this
Carry unforgiveness and bitterness
Or it can go the other way
Where we see women acting foolishly
Revealing skin to gain attention
Cause once again
Daddy never told them that it comes from within
We tend to give dirty looks to these girls
But these are the same little girls in womanly bodies
Who only want to be held by masculine arms that will never leave
I guess we all have to learn from our own mistakes in life
Sometimes we learn after we brought another life into this world
History repeats itself all over again
And in the end
Another baby is created without the very thing we were searching for
From the beginning
And that's the love from a father
But our life does become complete
When we realize that the love we were searching for
Was right there all along
Honestly it's the only love that will never leave
Nor let us down
Because people will
Even our own blood
But God is a father to the fatherless
His love will never leave

R.I.P pops. My popsMy dad was a cholo, lol.

My father was a Pisces.Happy Birthday dad. I hope I make you proud. RIP.

I still love H.I.M

I just want to see you...
Put down the facade
Take off your chain
Quit trying to be hard
It's me... With me, you can put down your guard
Quit trying to be something your not
I understand this industry
You got to stay on top
The bling, the rings, the next hottest thing
But I love you for you and not for what you got
I don't understand why the ones who got your back are the ones long forgot
Now you big shot and now we small talk
Remember the long walks down our block and I was your girl?
Holding hands and dreaming of how we gonna rock this world?
Now you on top
And now I'm wearing that rock
But on bottom
Long forgotten
And all along I just wanted your heart
You say the game has changed
The money really got in the way
When we were poor & in love you'd seranade and say, 'My Cherie Amore'
Now you rich and just call me your bitch
Well, I stayed the same
My name never changed
You divorced me and I'm still wearing your ring
While you took off yours and traded it in for an iced out chain
Love you making a fool out of me and I'm still waiting in vain
You the only one who changed
You know where to find me, still I wait
So step off the stage, lock up the Range
Come home where you belong
and I'll make you a plate.
I miss you.
Let's change.
The babies need us.
Let's bring this back
to love.

To Hip hop, to the Industry, to Music.
To him.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Hood Love is Good Love

Hood love is Good love.
Its that David's Sunflower Seeds and Popeye's red beans and rice with a bisquit & honey kind of love.
Its that holding hands at the mall shopping for fresh kicks and fits for your photo shoot together kind of love.
Its that massaging Palmer's Cocoa Butter & Baby oil on each others backs and feet after we shower kind of love.
That popping each others pimples straight monkey grooming each other kind of love.
Washing each others cars in the driveway listening to The Gap Band in some big ass sweats wearing one another's house slippers kind of love.
Its that waking up late to go to church so we pray together for our friends, family and our new president in bed kind of love.
That spooning on a futon mattress with no frame in our new empty studio apartment cause we gave up on assembling complicated IKEA furniture kind of love.
Its that volunteering at the soup kitchen on Thanksgiving Day and donating our old kicks to better our community kind of love.
Its that writing rhymes together and sharing poetry you wrote from your old journals back from highschool when you realized you wanted to be an emcee kind of love.
Its that helping you pack your bags for tour and picking you up from LAX when you get back from overseas kind of love.
Its that saying no to the single friends that want to go to the club on a Friday night cause I want to build with you kind of love.
That Hennessey straight out the bottle rolling blunts shot gunning in each others mouth kind of love.
Its that applying for a new credit card in your name cause my credit sucks and now I'm going to make your credit go to shit as well kind of love.
That waking up with crust in your eye kissing each other stank breath and all sharing each other's toothbrush in the morning kind of love.
Its that, "get your ass out the car and help push bitch!" cause the battery died kind of love.
Its that checking on your myspace page and seeing who the hell is that sending you some, "Showing you Love, where you've been?" kind of love.
Its that making beats & writing some hard core gangsta raps in the studio together kind of love.
Its that Guitar Hero playing drums all night thinking we rock stars kind of love.
Its that highschool 90's crush feeling all over again rhyming Tribe and singing "Let's chill in our mid thirties being like teenagers kind of love.
Its that breaking away from the party making out in our friends guest room kind of love.
Its that doing the Kid and Play in the living room watching House Party kind of love.
Its that laying on your stomache on a rainy day watching Cosby Show and Three's Company reruns and not doing a damn thing all day long kind of love.
Its that sending nasty pictures to your phone while your at work for inspiration letting you know what's waiting for you at home kind of love.
Its that taking your daughter from your baby's mom to the park and playing Horse and letting me brush and braid her hair kind of love.
That midnight making runs to 7-11 to get a extra large half and half Cherry/Blueberry Slurpee with a solo Peach Blunt and a lotto ticket kind of love.
That holding my hair cause I'm puking my guts out the side of your car after the club then eating Roscoes Chicken and Waffles at 2:36 am kind of love.
That beef jerky eating playing Mrs. Pacman and Centipede waiting for our clothes to be done at the laundromat kind of love.
Its that going to the Bank, Grocery store, Liquor store & Western Union for YOUR mama cause I'm family now kind of love.
That electric slide and soul train in the kitchen in your socks while making a big ass pot of spahgetti kind of love.
That sneaking Taco Bell a flask of Jose Cuervo and a big bag of peanut M&M's into the movie theater kind of love.
That talking shit watching music videos Tivo'ing Flavor of Love and America's next best dance crew kind of love.
That arguing in the Mc'Donalds parking lot about some dumb pointless bullshit that has nothing to do about us for hours kind of love.
That friday night when your friends want you to go out but we chose to stay in and recite Trading places & Coming to America kind of love.
That up all night it's 4 am and where the fuck are you at and why aren't you picking up your gawdamn phone! kind of love.
That reading each other's daily horoscope and reading, "Linda Goodmans Love Signs" to check our compatibility at Barnes and Nobles kind of love.
That cappin & snappin each other with endless Yo mama jokes battle rapping each other kind of love.
The pull over the side of the road and give head listening to Led Zeppelin kind of love.
The playing the drums and keyboards at the Guitar Center on a Sunday afternoon then heading to Amoeba to shop for vinyl kind of love.
That praying for one another for strength and comfort when your auntie passed away kind of love.
That punching holes in the wall then going to the club with the homies to piss you off and make you wonder kind of love.
That laying on the top of your hood together staring at the stars in the Hollyhood Hills thinking of girls and boys names for our babies kind of love.
Hood love is good love.
Hood love is true love.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

LOVE by Frank Nitt featuring DJ Quick & J Blaq produced by Terrace Martin

Alright, I am really excited about this song right here, not because it's called LOVE or even because Frank Nitty is fam...BUT because this video for this song will be my very first directorial debut. I am very grateful and want to first off thank Frank Nitt just for the opportunity for taking a chance on me to even do this. And to Mike Ross (CEO of Delicious Vinyl) for letting this be the official video for his new single and also for letting us use his house to shoot. His bathroom is about the size of my guest house. Anyways, how this video even came about is beyond me. It all started when Frank asked me to send out a flyer as a bulletin blast on myspace and facebook. He teamed up with AquaSwiss Watch and put out a contest where anybody could submit a video on whatever they think LOVE is to them. Well, Frank knowing I'm an aspiring film maker said why don't I put something together. So, I teamed up with two close friends of mine that have their own production team, shouts to my brothers Earnest and Imani. Within less than a week, we came up with locations, planned out the story and got our friends together in a moments notice. What started out as an idea became a whole video shot in one weekend and might I say, no $. We were straight Guerilla stylin. Bowfingers and all up in LAX and In and Out. The vision for this video was kind of pulled from a poem I wrote called, "Hood Love is Good Love". The couple in the video (friends of mine...Jennie and Michael)were based around my own experience with an MC. I USED to be married to a rapper. I wanted to capture the relateable and realistic side of a regular boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship. Not the ultra made up fantasy of your diva prada model bitch and the pimp throwin dollars in the air eating shrimp and champagne. Strictly B girls and B Boys. I wanted to capture the down ass chick that has your back selling your merch, committed to you even when you act a fool. Faithful and reppin you strong while you are on tour.The one who helps you pack your bags AND even picks you up from the airport when you get back from overseas. There were so many elements that I wanted to capture in this video. For one, I wanted to give my Filipino peoples some shine. I didn't even really plan this but my friend Jenny the lead is filipino, my friend Michael the dude lead is filipino, Rhettmatic...& of course myself. I ultimately wanted to shoot "normal" people of all races. There were no models or actresses. Everybody that participated in this was the homie and literally came through just for the love. Thank you again for all who came out & special thanks to the crew. I also wanted to bring back the fun that we used to see in Hip Hop videos. When everybody wasn't so serious or out to murder someone. There were no egos and everyone was just chillin and acting a fool. You can clearly capture the spirit and energy when you see it for yourself. We filmed inside 7-11 off Pico and La Brea with no permits only because the Lighting guy, "David", worked there and the owner loves him like a son. One more crazy divine situation to this project was how we got the fly caddy that you see hydraulickin(lol:)in the parking lot. A couple months ago I was making my usual run to 7-11. My friend Jeanette & I pulled up next to this fly Luis Vuitton top Caddy. It was so fly I had to get his number just in case of a photo shoot or something. Well, who would have known I would be using it for a video a couple months later. I called up John the owner and he happily agreed. He was hella cool and I know our meeting was totally divine. I told him I had no $ but I'd shout his name so it could be used for videos or something. He mentioned it already had been used. He explained to me his first cousin is Kanye West and also his bodyguard. You can see the front grill of his car in Hype Williams, "Heartless" video. Well, as you can see I am so excited about this project and we still have yet to shoot the legendary DJ Quick this weekend. Shouts to Terrace Martin. Such a sweetheart and the bomb ass saxophonist, you'll see. Real thing coming soon. Stay tuned. Peace, LOVE Tiana

Miss Jenny
Thank you John for letting  me use The Don
DJ Quick  and Terrace Martin
thanks Stace for the Behind the Scenes footage:)

This is why...

I put Him first...
I need silence as I write this
I don't even know what to title this
But I know what I want to say and that is....Thank you
I have to wipe the tears that fall from my eyes
Before I even write the next line to this rhyme
Honestly, this poem gives no justice to describe
This expression of gratitude that I'm feeling inside
I can't even capture the right words to express
So I'll do my best to describe what dwells in my chest
How I feel for you?
Cannot even fit in the form of Haiku
And if I were to write it in words
It would carry more strength than action verbs
There would be no ending, no period, it goes beyond a sentence
It's like your love for me, it's endless
That's why I put you first
Nobody else's love helps me understand what I'm worth
You've been there for me from the beginning
When nobody cared it was you that was listening
I didn't know who You were but you were always watching over me
If I close my eyes and go back through my history
When I should've been protected instead you sent your angels down from heaven
You know the story, every time they'd argue she'd run out the house
But this is the part that I try to black out
It's more painful than my mom's black eye
It's when he came in my room and stood by my bedside
While I was pretending to be sleeping
I was really awake but dreaming
When I asked in my mind for somebody to take me to a place I could hide
You brought me to a place where I believed I could fly
A safe place where every little girl was free to play
That was the first day I learned how to pray
This game of hide and seek became a survival technique
I'd call your name and quickly you came to my aid
So strong you held me close in your arms
While another man's hands took my innocence away
That pillow that my head rested on, was really your lap
You caressed my face while your angels rubbed my back
Gently you whispered in my ear so softly...
My dear, I am here, you have nothing to fear
Have to remind myself when I don't feel Him he's still near
Just as He stood with me then, He still stands with me today
That's why at the end of the day I could careless what people say
Cause He's the only one who understands
When we walk side by side you see His footprints in the sand
When my dad went away it was you that took his place
Yes, I wished I could've seen the look on his face
Every time I made a wish before I blew out the cake
Pretty soon the candles were outnumbered by my tears
They didn't represent my age
But for every year that my daddy wasn't there
From age two to thirty two
Imagine what you could do,if you melted all those candles into one?
If it was sparked it would never go dark
And I'd bet it would be larger than Candlestick Park
And yes I wished it was his arm that I held onto on my special day
But I'm glad that I chose cousin Trav to give me away
But the reason why I smiled was because I knew you were there
When I walked down that aisle
But even though our marriage lasted only a short while
You still walk with me
arm in arm like you're the one who married me
I will never be ashamed of you
I don't care who sees me raise my arms just to praise you
And if they do I will tell them
You are real
That's why this poem gives no justice to describe how I feel
But I know what I want to say
And that is....Thank You

I just wanted to kick this blog off with a poem of thanks to my Heavenly Father. He is my source of strength, guidance and source of LOVE. I am not religious but spiritual. I respect everyone's religious views and will never force mine upon you. If I claim any religion it's LOVE. I follow and strive to be Christ like everyday because He is LOVE. Without knowing Him, I would be dead...physically, spiritually and emotionally. Because of what He has brought me through I will never be ashamed of confessing my LOVE for Him. He is not a gimmick but very real to me. I cannot say I am perfect nor will I ever try to be. I do foolish things on a daily. And in knowing this I now understand the scripture, "He uses the foolish things to confound the wise". I am thankful that I have a forgiving and merciful God who loves me right where I am at, imperfect and all. That is why it is my duty to love others the way He LOVES me.

Let me introduce myself...

My name is Tiana Mandrigues. I am an Aquarius, an artist, a poet, a dreamer, a free spirit, a love child, silent revolutionary, bridgemaster, a friend to all, helper to heroes, cheerleader for the underdogs, a fly girl but sometimes insecure and shy girl, reverser of failure, rebel for equality, a deep thinker, most of the time a silly girl, a dork, a lover of soul music, a lover of God's creations including you, a child of God destined for greatness...and so much more. I just want to thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I want to use this site as a place to express my heart, my mind and my life's experiences freely with no judgement. I am an artist and I MUST express myself. If held captive I will go insane. My views do not reflect my affiliates. I may express thoughts, views and experiences that my brother and sisters do not agree with. There is freedom in expression, right or wrong...this is me, my world and my journey. Welcome to lovetiana.blogspot.com. Please feel free to spread the word. I hope you come back and visit me. Peace Love & Enlightenment...Tiana