My Exodus

I had to walk through desert sands
Like the Israelites when they had to pass through the wilderness
In order to get to the Promised Land
The purpose of this wilderness was to show me my wickedness
A place to escape after He delivered me from Egypt
Which represents my flesh
This quest also brought deliverance
From things and people that didn't benefit
Like old habits and corrupt relationships
All this was the Genesis to my Exodus
It started out like this
Like the kiss of Judas
I was betrayed
Been played
Always afraid what people would say
I swayed back and forth like ocean waves
Tossed to and fro
Who would have known my foes were those close to home
Now I've grown and I see there was no trust or no love
Sharing nothing in common except drugs thugs and clubs
Foundation of these friendships were vain
While they remained I started to change
My mind was reaching higher planes
Conversation not the same
Relationships I thought were significant
Became stagnate and a hindrance
Rejected and left forsaken
But no hard feelings taken
These situations only strengthened and my eyes were now awakened
God closed doors on the people I ran towards
Inside these glass shields were the only place I could be healed
From the spirit of rejection that had taken deep root from no fatherly affection
Correction was needed as I proceeded
But before I could continue all flesh had to be shed
I was broken like bread before the multitudes could be fed
I had to understand that it wasn't about me
So many nights I would cry as I stared towards the sky
Asking God, 'Where you at in all of this?'
I couldn't feel His presence
Even doubted if He exists
Such a lonely place when the only person I could be embraced
Was by a man with no face
But still I would chase after a dream I couldn't see
I grew through this journey of long suffering and pain
So for me to stay the same
My exodus would be in vain
To have learned without love
This all don't mean a thing

LOVETiana (1996)