Monday, October 5, 2009

My Exodus

Never give up on your dreams.

Sacrifice
Endure
Persevere
Forgive
Get up
again
and again
and again
recast the vision.

I had to walk through desert sands
Like the Israelites when they had to pass through the wilderness
In order to get to the Promised Land
The purpose of this wilderness was to show me my wickedness
A place to escape after He delivered me from Egypt
Which represents my flesh
This quest also brought deliverance
From things and people that didn't benefit
Like old habits and corrupt relationships
All this was the Genesis to my Exodus
It started out like this
Like the kiss of Judas
I was betrayed
Been played
Always afraid what people would say
I swayed back and forth like ocean waves
Tossed to and fro
Who would have known my foes were those close to home
Now I've grown and I see there was no trust or no love
Sharing nothing in common except drugs thugs and clubs
Foundation of these friendships were vain
While they remained I started to change
My mind was reaching higher planes
Conversation not the same
Relationships I thought were significant
Became stagnate and a hindrance
Rejected and left forsaken
But no hard feelings taken
These situations only strengthened and my eyes were now awakened
God closed doors on the people I ran towards
Inside these glass shields were the only place I could be healed
From the spirit of rejection that had taken deep root from no fatherly affection
Correction was needed as I proceeded
But before I could continue all flesh had to be shed
I was broken like bread before the multitudes could be fed
I had to understand that it wasn't about me
So many nights I would cry as I stared towards the sky
Asking God, 'Where you at in all of this?'
I couldn't feel His presence
Even doubted if He exists
Such a lonely place when the only person I could be embraced
Was by a man with no face
But still I would chase after a dream I couldn't see
I grew through this journey of long suffering and pain
So for me to stay the same
My exodus would be in vain
To have learned without love
This all don't mean a thing

LOVETiana (1996)

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Radiance

She was a beauty queen with low self esteem
Who gave up on her hopes and her dreams
Put aside her own life to become the wife
of a man who won’t make the same sacrifice
She tries for him
Even compromises sin for his attention
That’s why there’s no respect because for him she’ll always give in
She never waited nor was patient for God to lead her relationships
She noticed it all began when he stopped doing the simple things
The sweet things that made her shine
Around his friends she became like all the rest
He could care less if his friends showed her no respect
Like a silly girl she would fight over a guy that had other girls on the side
Putting the blame on the other women
when the enemy was the one she was sleeping with
Everyday became a battle
The minute her eyes would open to the new morning sun
She’s overwhelmed with frustration and unappreciative of God’s creations
Her feelings are like a roller coaster
Unstable moods
Her days are even ruled by his attitude
She continues to pray that his ways will change
But in exchange she’s left spiritually drained
Tries to maintain strong in her weak little frame
Her days at work are filled with thoughts of what he did
A man she can’t stand but if he asked for another chance she’d give in
Crazy love
Conjuring thoughts to ruin him but the next minute she’s pursuing him
She can’t rest
Unforgiveness and bitterness sits in her chest
But still she holds on
Reminiscing of their first kiss to their song
While he’s moved on as if nothings wrong
She’s mad at herself because she promised she wouldn’t let this happen again
She was even hesitant before she stepped in
Even told him of what others did to her last
But despite her past she decided to give love another chance
It was a rushed romance
She always had somebody there and if they left
She moved on to the next
She didn’t understand where she kept going wrong
Since friendships were never established from the get
The foundation of respect was replaced with feelings of regret
He really wanted to do right
But he was never challenged to act right
He could only see her as she seen herself
I wish I could have told her that her righteousness
can make a boy want to become a better man
But understand no matter what sin she fell in
When she looks to Him
She will always be radiant in His eyes
She shall never be put to shame.
Psalms 34:5

Friday, October 2, 2009

Friday Saturday LOVE

Just Got Paid Friday Night
Best friends want to head to Nightlife
But they can go head without me
Cause tonight I'm feeling like
I want to hang with you tonight
So call me after you get out the studio
I'll call Roscoes & order Chicken n Waffles to go
So we can come back home
Roll one and be rollin n watch the Chappelle Show
Or we can sip some wine & recite every line
Watch Trading Places for the 99th time
Last but not least we can pop in Purple Rain
But we both know what comes next after the Basement Scene
You start thinking you Prince and I'm Apollonia
Convincing me I need to put this apple on ya
Got me stripping down like I'm passing initiation at Lake Minnetonka
Let's purify ourselves and head to the shower
Let's give head for hours and then take it back to the bed
Only 2 am and you getting breakfast in bed
Let's light some candles 'Do me baby's' on repeat
I know your beat
making beats working 80 hour weeks just so we can eat
So lay your head down and relax
Let me massage your back
Spoiling you sitting on you while I'm rubbing oil on you
But you deserve it
It's my pleasure to serve you too
Let's fall asleep and then wake up at noon
But before we get dressed let's go for round 22
Now we grooving in the car to Earth Wind and Fire tunes
Headed to the mall so we can shop for your photo shoot
You know I'm stylish
I'm your personal stylists
Dress you in fly fits that get the ladies posting up photo comments
They can comment how sexy you be
But I know I'll always be the lady you want to see
I believe in you and you believe in me
We will always be
Best friends
Lovers
Your so special to me

FeeL U uP

I LOVE PRINCE FOREVER!!! xoxo

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Laws of Love & Attraction

The Laws of Love & Attraction, Mr. Deepak Chopra.


Imagining my ideal:)

When it is time. I don’t know who he maybe but I know he will be man of
greatness.
His reputation is respectable and his presence is acknowledged.
He strives for excellence in all that he does that is why is an
honorable man.
He is held in high regards within the upper echelon.
His appearance may fool spectators or maybe viewed as ordinary.
But there is nothing ordinary about him.
Without a trace of a degree many are confound by the words of wisdom
that comes from his lips.
He carries a spirit of greatness that cannot be denied.
His eyes gleam with confidence because he knows that it is not him but
the Greater One that lives within him.
He is an urban prince that roams about the cities but still carries a
heart of a servant.
That is why he is favored among the poor and the rich.
He recognizes his influence is powerful that is why he chooses wisely.
Linked to the elitist but still chooses to eat among those whom men look
down upon.
He understands the importance of servant hood and does not look down
upon it as a weakness but as a prerequisite to authority.
His discipline makes him attractive and is openly rewarded by his
obedience that has been done in secret.
Never wasteful he uses his time wisely.
Never lazy because he knows it leads to poverty.
A skilled worker is he.
Always putting his hands to good use.
He has been misunderstood and not appreciated the way he deserves by the
women in his past.
For they cannot see the greatness within this man because they cannot
see the greatness within themselves.
These lovers in his past have been nothing but mere pawns. Chess pieces
in this predictable game of love.
They carry the least value and only obstacles to obtaining his goals and
full potential.
Undeniably, he has learned from these pawns but now he has reached a
place in life where he is open to love in it’s purest form.
Grown weary of playing this game alone and now ready to win with his
equal.
As one we will be a powerful force on this earth and do many great
exploits together for the sake of peace towards mankind.
We recognize that our communion is not intended for self-fulfillment but
for the serving of others so that they may in turn serve others.
We are merely forerunners.
We both see the future as if somebody has given us a map to our destiny
but in fact we have only been led by the dream that’s been within our
hearts.
It’s the light that has lead us out of our dark past towards one
another.
But for now, we are just strangers among the crowds doing what we know
to do.
We don’t know how or when this day will come but we just know that it
will. When it is time.
We will be at peace with one another because for the first time in our
lives we have found peace within ourselves.
We will enjoy the fruits of our labors and appreciate the blessings that
God has given us.
We both have come from little but know that the little is what caused us
to love great.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

I still L.O.V.E. H.I.M.

I just want to see you...
Put down the facade
Take off your chain
Quit trying to be hard
It's me... With me, you can put down your guard
Quit trying to be something your not
I understand this industry
You got to stay on top
The bling, the rings, the next hottest thing
But I love you for you and not for what you got
I don't understand why the ones who got your back are the ones long forgot
Now you big shot and now we small talk
Remember the long walks down our block and I was your girl?
Holding hands and dreaming of how we gonna rock this world?
Now you on top
And now I'm wearing that rock
But on bottom
Long forgotten
And all along I just wanted your heart
You say the game has changed
The money really got in the way
When we were poor & in love you'd seranade and say, 'My Cherie Amore'
Now you rich and just call me your bitch
Well, I stayed the same
My name never changed
You divorced me and I'm still wearing your ring
While you took off yours and traded it in for an iced out chain
Love you making a fool out of me and I'm still waiting in vain
You the only one who changed
You know where to find me, still I wait
So step off the stage, lock up the Range
Come home where you belong
and I'll make you a plate.
I miss you.
Let's change.
The babies need us.
Let's bring this back
to love.

To Hip hop, to the Industry, to Music.
To him.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

This is why I believe & why...

I put Him first...
I need silence as I write this
I don't even know what to title this
But I know what I want to say and that is....Thank you
I have to wipe the tears that fall from my eyes
Before I even write the next line to this rhyme
Honestly, this poem gives no justice to describe
This expression of gratitude that I'm feeling inside
I can't even capture the right words to express
So I'll do my best to describe what dwells in my chest
How I feel for you?
Cannot even fit in the form of Haiku
And if I were to write it in words
It would carry more strength than action verbs
There would be no ending, no period, it goes beyond a sentence
It's like your love for me, it's endless
That's why I put you first
Nobody else's love helps me understand what I'm worth
You've been there for me from the beginning
When nobody cared it was you that was listening
I didn't know who You were but you were always watching over me
If I close my eyes and go back through my history
When I should've been protected instead you sent your angels down from heaven
You know the story, every time they'd argue she'd run out the house
But this is the part that I try to black out
It's more painful than my mom's black eye
It's when he came in my room and stood by my bedside
While I was pretending to be sleeping
I was really awake but dreaming
When I asked in my mind for somebody to take me to a place I could hide
You brought me to a place where I believed I could fly
A safe place where every little girl was free to play
That was the first day I learned how to pray
This game of hide and seek became a survival technique
I'd call your name and quickly you came to my aid
So strong you held me close in your arms
While another man's hands took my innocence away
That pillow that my head rested on, was really your lap
You caressed my face while your angels rubbed my back
Gently you whispered in my ear so softly...
My dear, I am here, you have nothing to fear
Have to remind myself when I don't feel Him he's still near
Just as He stood with me then, He still stands with me today
That's why at the end of the day I could careless what people say
Cause He's the only one who understands
When we walk side by side you see His footprints in the sand
When my dad went away it was you that took his place
Yes, I wished I could've seen the look on his face
Every time I made a wish before I blew out the cake
Pretty soon the candles were outnumbered by my tears
They didn't represent my age
But for every year that my daddy wasn't there
From age two to thirty two
Imagine what you could do,if you melted all those candles into one?
If it was sparked it would never go dark
And I'd bet it would be larger than Candlestick Park
And yes I wished it was his arm that I held onto on my special day
But I'm glad that I chose cousin Trav to give me away
But the reason why I smiled was because I knew you were there
When I walked down that aisle
But even though our marriage lasted only a short while
You still walk with me
arm in arm like you're the one who married me
I will never be ashamed of you
I don't care who sees me raise my arms just to praise you
And if they do I will tell them
You are real
That's why this poem gives no justice to describe how I feel
But I know what I want to say
And that is....Thank You

Thursday, September 10, 2009

#SPREADLOVE - message from Uncle Herm

Hi family,
just got this in the email from Uncle Herm, to long to twit or fb. So here are the details for the upcoming walk in Atlanta. We are looking for sponsors, donations, if anything just simply spreading the word makes a difference. The community is really coming together tough this year, finding this cure for Lupus. There is so much LOVE when the comm*unity* comes together. Lets do this!! LOVE you Tiana

Hey Dilla fans and friends, thanks again for your help.........we are really aiming to make this a special day in Hip Hop....as far as food ..we need the basic BBQ items....maybe 200 hot dogs and buns, 200 hamburger and buns,400 bottled waters or drinks, and any type of Dilla stuff that's out there.....maybe Stonesthrow could send us something to give away or raffle off....as I said before.....we would like to start the BBQ around 12 noon, with running DJ sets all day, around 2pm till 6 or 7pm we plan on having production,dj,and B Boys sessions and lessons for kids 16 and under (for those who sign up and come to the Lupus walk @ 9am). The performances and guest DJ"s will start around 8pm and the kids will be at home soaking in thier new found skills.There will also be a walk video shoot and this is a good time for some sponsors to step up and be seen as a contributor to the cause ....so on that note....we need to really blast that we need sponsors,donations,walkers volunteers and media coverage. The Walk will be held at The Highwoods Century center office park ...just off of I-85 at the Clairmont exit......the walk is 5 K which is 3.2 miles....you dont have to be in Atlanta to sign up as a virtual walker....so please encourage people to sign up for the J.Dilla Project and register at http://walk.lupusresearch.org/goto/jaydee .....the Dilla Day event will be held @ the Bench 602 Marietta St. Atlanta Ga.......MaDukes will be hosting this Day in Atlanta and we need to show her the love and respect that Jay Dee deserves ...you can contact us at officialmadukes@yahoo.com or disfadilla@yahoo.com ....also check out www.officiamadukes.com for all of your Real Dilla info.....peace love and donuts......MaDukes,Uncle Herm and the J.Dilla Project

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Expression = Freedom

Thought about this poem. Had to put it back up here. Stay inspired always:)

Freedom writing/Fighting to stay alive/Writing this line while driving down the 405/ The real grind begins after the 9-5/Entering Golden Time/Praying that illumination shines through this rhyme/Just had a thought…if confession brings healing, then expression brings freedom/So if artists expressed their hearts then their art can really free men/So why then, do artists keep on reaching for a dream that has no meaning?/Gifts were meant for giving/But most use their gifts in vain/All for a name, fame or just to entertain/It wearies me, when I see the music and film industry continuing to put things that leave us with no feeling/Please forgive me, but I just feel Hollywood is on some fake shit/That's why today, Holly would do just about anything to make it/Little girls repeat what they see/Believing reality is a world they see on MTV/Kids don't read books anymore/Don't know their history, brainwashed by media/Entertain their brains with pop culture trivia/Who gives a shit if Tom Cruise shops at Whole Foods or if Tara Reeds got lopsided boobs?/Millions are wasted on media that continues to feed garbage to our spirits/Can you imagine if that money was used for a good purpose?/Who knows? Research could have used that money and found a cure for Lupus/Dilla would still be eating donuts loopin Rufus/We've all been told from the young and the old/All that glitters is not gold/ Don't be fooled by Tinseltown just because it shines so bright/Like moths drawn to the light but soon get lost in the flight/Many stories told, of how they sacrificed their wife, slept in their cars at night, just to be a star/But somewhere along the dream, they forgot who they are/Were in a time, where the amateur is on the rise/Be wise/Utilize all resources to speak your mind/Who needs a publicists these days when you can promote yourself online?/How powerful it is to have the opportunity to bring unity through a MySpace community/I don't worship idols but in a way Tom's a god/Thank you for helping me re-unite with my Aunt Kim through a blog/Young Babes, you ought to be ashamed/It's time to change your default pic on your MySpace page/ Tired of seeing reflections of legs and darriers taken by yourself in your bathrooms mirrors/We were created for a specific purpose in a specific time as this/Be different/Be an instrument/Use your gifts to uplift...../D.J.'s keep us dancing/ Keep playing the music that flows from the soul/Poets and writers continue to write what you know/Lyricists keep using your gifts of prophecy to show us the way to go/ Photographers keep capturing history of emcees that rock the shows/Producers keep making fruitful beats that help makes us grow/Peace not war but support the bombs Graff arms throw/Write. Draw. Paint. Recite. Act. Dance. Sing/If you all have a dream, don't stop/Stay strong and just believe/Pass the baton of our creative energy that sets us all free.
Keep DREAMING!!
LOVETiana